搞笑的英语短句大全

1、不要把姐当黄金看，姐其实是一颗闪闪发光的钻石。

Don't regard elder sister as gold. Elder sister is actually a shining diamond.

2、找女朋友别找我这样的，太多人追的，给不了你安全感。

Looking for a girlfriend, don't look for me, too many people chase, can't give you a sense of security.

3、有人说我不要脸，这简直胡扯，这么美我哪舍得不要。

Some people say I don't want to be shameless. It's nonsense. I'm not willing to be so beautiful.

4、如果你主动一点，我们不光会有故事，还会有孩子。

If you take the initiative, we will not only have stories, but also children.

5、我才不去见网友，除非国家修改一夫一妻制。

I don't go to see netizens unless the state changes monogamy.

6、你那么甜，不适合风吹日晒，适合躺在我怀里。

You are so sweet, not suitable for the wind and sun, suitable for lying in my arms.

7、我真是个花心的人，暑假刚走了我就想着寒假。

I'm really a flowery person. I think of winter vacation just after the summer vacation.

8、车到山前必有路，有路我也刹不住。

There must be a way to get to the front of the mountain. I can't stop if there is a way.

9、愿你们都拥有人人羡慕的爱情，而我有钱就好。

I wish you all have the love that everyone envies, and I have money.

10、想和你喝酒是假，想醉你怀里是真。

Want to drink with you is false, want to drunk your arms is true.

11、别和我谈恋爱，虚伪，有本事咱俩结婚。

Don't fall in love with me, hypocrisy, we can get married.

12、脸皮怎么那么厚，让猪皮情何以勘。

How thick the skin is, how can we explore the pig skin.

13、我没认识你之前，我真没发现原来我有以貌取人这毛病。

Before I knew you, I didn't find out that I was judging people by their appearance.

14、俗话说：心静自然凉。于是乎，我躺在床上装死。

As the saying goes: the mind is calm and natural. So I lay in bed pretending to be dead.

15、特别懒，没什么特长，但熬夜是一把好手。

I'm very lazy. I'm not good at it, but staying up late is a good skill.

16、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物。

Other people's money is my property.

17、此人已是别人的猎物、谢绝勾引。

This person has been the prey of others, and he refuses to seduce him.

18、我一点也不酷，但是十分帅气。

I'm not cool at all.

19、就在刚刚，有个蚊子得到了我给它人生最后的掌声。

Just now, a mosquito got my last applause for his life.

20、好马不吃回头草，所以好马总挨饿。

Good horses don't eat grass, so good horses always starve.

21、我很想知道：我喝醉了会喊出谁的名字。

I'd like to know: whose name will I call out when I'm drunk.

22、你一定要和她好好走下去，我坐车。

You must walk well with her. I'll take the car.

23、回想这半辈子，当过最大的官也就是qq群管理员了。

Looking back on this half of my life, I was the biggest official, that is, QQ group administrator.

24、虽然你不是妇女，但是你很三八啊。

You're not a woman, but you're thirty-eight.

25、别问我为什么考不好，因为天气太冷，导致神志不清了。

Don't ask me why I didn't do well in the exam, because it was so cold that I was out of my mind.

26、就算失败了九十九次，也要再努力一次，凑个整数。

Even if you fail ninety-nine times, you should try again to round up the whole number.

27、我宁愿绿你都舍不得和你分手，你还说我不爱你？

I would rather green you are reluctant to part with you, you also said I do not love you?

28、这世间最烈的酒，是你低头噙笑的温柔。

The strongest wine in the world is the tenderness with your head down and smile.

29、无论我考成什么狗样，我都相信我前途无量。

No matter what kind of dog I get, I believe I have a bright future.

30、谁说我只会吃的？人家定外卖可是一把好手！

Who said I only eat? It's a good takeout!

31、做人要低调，就比如我这么帅，我都没说出来。

Life should be low-key, such as I am so handsome, I did not say.

32、你既然没有本事给我未来，又哪来的勇气说要永远。

Since you don't have the ability to give me the future, how can you have the courage to say forever.

33、好看的皮囊三千一宿，有趣的灵魂要房要车。

Good looking leather bag for three thousand one night, interesting soul wants room and car.

34、别熬夜等人了，手机砸到脸不是闹着玩的我跟你讲。

Don't stay up late and wait for someone. It's not fun to hit your cell phone in the face. I'll tell you.

35、有时候肥也是一种美，起码我肥而不腻。

Sometimes fat is also a kind of beauty, at least I am fat but not greasy.

36、生活不能给你的甜，或许我可以。

Life can't give you sweetness, maybe I can.

37、生活就像新闻联播，不是换台就能逃避的了。

Life is like a news broadcast. It can't be avoided by changing channels.

38、只因在人群中多看了你一眼，你就叫我上黑板答题。

Just because I saw you more in the crowd, you asked me to answer on the blackboard.

39、你的牙就如同那天上的繁星，色泽鲜艳，相距甚远。

Your teeth are like the stars in the sky, bright and far apart.

40、我姓阮，因为特别喜欢吃糖，所以朋友们叫我少吃点。

My name is Ruan. Because I like eating sugar very much, my friends told me to eat less.